STORY AND PHOTOS BY JC JOHNSON
I had a big birthday this year that needed celebrating. So what does every self-respecting adult trying to avoid getting older do? You go to Disney World. Did you know Super Bowl MVPs go to Disney to celebrate their win? If the NFL can go to Disney, then so too can this self-respecting adult. (Even if I’m not really into sports in any other way, I am the MVP of my life, right?)
Sadly, the term “Disney Adult” hasn’t been much of a compliment recently—especially, if you refer to Urban Dictionary’s definition. But I refuse to let mean people take away my joy. I am not wear-Mickey-ears-to-dinner obsessed. No, like most Disney Adults, I just like to go to theme parks, with or without kids. Some of us like remembering childhood memories, and of course riding rides is fun. Plus, there’s the shopping, which is a respectable pastime in any other location. And you really shouldn’t diss character breakfasts until you’ve tried them.
Disney Adults, the non-creepy, self-respecting MVP kind, are so common there are a multitude of websites and social media sites with tips for kid-free Disney fun. Even Disney welcomes us with tailored offers (or knows how to never pass up a good marketing opportunity). But you probably don’t have time for all that, so let me be your guide into the mythic (and beautiful) world of adulting at Disney.
THE FLIGHT & HOTEL
Disney Adults wake up extremely early in the morning to make the 5:30 AM flight to Florida.* After all, Park Hoppers tickets are expensive, so we need to maximize our time and money by getting there as early as possible to squeeze every Disney drop out of the day. (See, we are mature adults!)
*Some adults refuse to take such an early flight. In that case, we will coordinate a meeting point later in the day.
Disney Adults who are smart invite along a friend with travel points to help pay for this trip to join in on all the fun. Using points does limit our hotel options, but we get rooms at the Swan and Dolphin.* Due to maximizing that Park Hopper ticket, on our first day, we have to entrust our belongings to Disney staff until the room is ready for check-in.
*There’s a bar in the lobby. Which is important. Because Disney Adults go to the hotel bar for a nightcap while recapping the wonders of the day—and propping up our feet.
IN THE PARKS
Disney Adults can’t stop thinking about Space Mountain.* Space Mountain is the best ride that has ever existed. Adults want to ride this more than once and are even willing to wait patiently in its long lines again and again.
But sometimes Space Mountain is out of service. Adults are disappointed by this devastating turn of events and talk about it a lot throughout the day.
*Attraction obsession may vary.
Disney Adults relive our Star Wars childhood in Galaxy’s Edge and ride the Millennium Falcon. This is important.*
*If you know, you know.
Disney Adults like going to Epcot because it’s a chance to visit Norway and Italy all for the low, low price of just one plane ticket. (See! Responsible adult status achieved!) We take pictures of the architecture and then get our photos confused with the time we actually went to real Venice.
Disney Adults walk at least 28,000 steps a day (which we know because we are responsible MVPs who track our exercise) and can’t figure out why our feet hurt. We spend a lot of time finding places to prop up said feet.
Sometimes Disney Adults spend time on that boring boat ride our mom used to like just so we can sit down in air-conditioning.* We also go learn about gardening just so we can sit down in air-conditioning.
*This is the point where adults realize why our mom always made us ride this one when we were kids doing Disney the family way.
Adults want to ride Tron Lightcycle Run. It’s hard to get on that ride, so we have to use Genie+, or the Lighting Lane, the Virtual Queue, or some other complicated method.* It’s probably going to be shockingly expensive. (See! Sometimes adults make calculated splurges.)
*Disney Adults lament over the former FastPass method. It’s important to recall how we “can’t do Disney like we used to” and discuss our frustrations with the group…several times a day.
THE FIREWORKS
Disney Adults love fireworks. We try to see every last zazzle we can in every park. We take videos of the fireworks show instead of actually looking at the fireworks.*
*Adults can also take pictures of people taking videos of the fireworks.
SUSTENANCE: FOOD & DRINKS
Disney Adults go to Japan’s Teppan Edo to have a nice birthday dinner and get an adult drink. The extra nice chefs make a special grilled Olaf volcano as a treat.*
*Adults may choose a different place to eat dinner.
Disney Adults like the DOLE whip. Sometimes we find them at Epcot during the International Flower and Garden Festival.
Disney Adults always need coffee as soon as we get to Main Street USA. This is the only way we will have the energy to make it to our lunch reservation.
Disney Adults go to Oga’s Cantina in Galaxy’s Edge because getting a nice adult drink as if we are in a Star Wars movie changes everything. The bartender is even a little grumpy as part of their character.*
*At this point, we are appreciative of every character who is a little bit grumpy because we are adult enough to know the world isn’t always rosy and appreciate a little honesty—even at Disney.
THE PICTURES
Disney Adults like to take pictures together at Disney and show off our Disney smiles. We want these pictures to remind us always of how great adulting at Disney is—because given that big birthday we were celebrating, we might start forgetting things without hard evidence to remind us.
RECOMMENDED READING:
“Hyperion” by Heather M. Surls
Adults can also work for Disney, and in a recent story for Hidden Compass, our assistant editor, Heather Surls, weaves a Moving tale drawn from family lore and other clues of her great-grandfather’s work as a Disney animator in the 1930s.
JC Johnson
JC Johnson, Anthrow Circus's creative director, spends most of her time as a photography and arts instructor in Nashville, Tennessee. She is often overwhelmed with wanderlust, photographs internationally, and has a passion for travel and study abroad as both an artist and instructor. Her photographic work makes associations to childhood as well as to the nostalgic and the whimsical. Common themes in her photography include European architecture and history, fashion, travel, toys, and miniatures.